John 4:16-19 states that the Samaritan woman has many husbands and this is a metaphor of our the things we prioritize over Jesus. I have many husbands too. But today, I have committed a lot of time and meditation to God. I use to just be the dead Christian going to Church every Sunday as if it were a chore on my to-do list, but ever since Michael evangelized me, God has revealed himself slowly but surely.
I truly want to believe, but sometimes I worry about all the struggles in this world and lose my trust in God just like when the Samaritan woman asks Jesus if he is better than Jacob. I sometimes ask if Jesus can truly provide for me and give me better things than those I want for myself, things of the world I am used to. Bible studies truly remind me of what matters most and the reward of eternal life rather than the temporary pleasures of this world.
It’s been hard for me to leave my “net”, especially at this stage where all my life I have been taught to strive for excellence and work hard for a better standard of living and future, but I am sure with continued guidance I’ll be able to grow and bear fruit one day. I agree that this world is fading and must not rely on the things I see such as my accomplishments and what people think of me.
I have to ask though, is it bad to want a better standard of living for your family and loved ones while on earth? I will work on remembering not to love worldly things and seek the eternal rewards of God instead. I truly believe there is no greater reward than knowing God completely and I am grateful for this calling. I pray for more wisdom and stronger faith and for the day when no worldly struggle will shake me. Amen.